Why do people say 'I'm joking!' after harsh remarks? It's a defense mechanism to avoid emotional responsibility.
The "I'm joking" reflex
People often use phrases like "I'm joking" or "Don't take it the wrong way" when making a comment, even if it seems harmless. These phrases suggest the speaker is not serious, but they can also reveal that the comment was not well received.A way to avoid responsibility
The use of these phrases can serve a deeper purpose. It allows the speaker to distance themselves from the emotional weight of what they said, even if they intended it as a joke. This can help avoid direct confrontation or responsibility for the remark.Understanding aggressive humor
In 2003, psychologist Rod Martin and his team at the University of Western Ontario identified four styles of humor. One of these, aggressive humor, involves making sharp or mocking comments, while leaving room for the speaker to back away if the comment is not well received.The psychological function of aggressive humor
A 2023 study by psychologist Kim Pineault-Savard, published in the Filigrane journal, explored how aggressive humor functions in social interactions. It found that this type of humor can express real emotions like frustration or anger without fully confronting them, allowing the speaker to avoid emotional exposure and vulnerability.
