Between the sleepless nights, the bottles to prepare, and the diapers to change, the first months with a baby often leave little room for rest. The arrival of a child disrupts daily life and can sometimes change the way a young mother sees herself. Facing this new life, some may feel they are "no longer quite the same as before." Motherhood: "Pregnant, I really lost that lightness." Before her first pregnancy, Aurélie Pechery-Pery, secretary of the Maman Blues Association, led a busy life, structured by her work, outings, and an active social life. Described by her close ones as sunny, she quickly felt she no longer recognized herself when she became pregnant. "This feeling came very early in the pregnancy: overnight, I was no longer carefree. Before, I had low moods, like everyone else, but I felt fulfilled. Pregnant, I really lost that lightness," she says. Today, mother of two children aged 7 and 4 years, the young woman experienced antenatal and postpartum depression during her first pregnancy. For Aurélie Pechery-Pery, this pregnancy was "more a source of anxiety than happiness." Indeed, as early as the first trimester, a woman can present symptoms of antenatal depression. This condition can manifest as sadness, sleep disturbances, fatigue, anxiety, irritability, or a feeling of devaluation. These signs are often confused with those of pregnancy, which can delay diagnosis. In the case of the young woman, she had the feeling of being the sole person responsible for her baby's well-being, a heavy emotional burden to carry. At the time, she was not diagnosed, despite the suffering she was going through. Her discomfort gradually settled and evolved into postpartum depression after the birth of her first child. "In addition to fatigue and crying, I developed phobias and had difficulty forming a bond with my baby. I was always tormented by intrusive thoughts, such as 'Why am I like this?' 'Why can't I be happy?' Or 'Why don't I laugh anymore?' My surroundings no longer recognized me," she recounts. Pregnancy and motherhood are often considered as joyful and happy periods. However, not all women experience it this way. A pregnant woman or a young mother may not feel authorized to verbalize her anxiety and discomfort due to these social expectations. For Aurore Malet-Karas, a doctor in neuroscience, sexologist, and author of Brain, Sex and Love (Humensis ed.), it is essential to revisit the way young mothers are supported after the birth. The lack of information and isolation can especially increase anxiety, while women need to be reassured and surrounded during this intense period. "Often, women do not understand what is happening to them. In a few months, they undergo many physical, hormonal, and cerebral changes. They can then panic at sensations they are unfamiliar with, and this panic can sometimes make them lose their balance," she explains. According to the specialist, better informing women about these changes and giving them references on their duration can already be reassuring. "The simple act of explaining what is happening to them, telling them there is an exit and that this period will not last can be lifesaving," adds Aurore Malet-Karas. The right to feel nostalgia for one's previous life Thinking about their previous life, some mothers sometimes feel nostalgia. This feeling can then be accompanied by a form of guilt: does it mean they regret their children? "This emotion is entirely legitimate. One can love their children more than anything in the world, and despite that, feel nostalgia for their freedom, carefreeness, or other aspects of their previous life," reassures Aurore Malet-Karas. Acknowledging this feeling allows a better understanding of it, while minimizing it can sometimes encourage its evolution into darker thoughts. On her part, Aurélie Pechery-Pery indicates that she has few regrets about the person she was before becoming a mother. "This journey, although difficult, allowed me to become the best version of myself. I almost have no animosity towards the person I was during pregnancy and postpartum, because it allowed me to start a therapeutic follow-up and resolve various issues. I believe I am a better mother than I would have been without this support. Of course, I would have preferred not to go through these episodes, but I have regained my joy of life with my children. We have a very strong bond," expresses the young mother. The support of loved ones remains essential during pregnancy and postpartum. "Some have difficulty understanding what a woman goes through during these transition periods. However, it is necessary to allow her the space to express her discomfort, fears, or frustration. During consultations, it is possible to receive the co-parent or even the woman's parents to explain what she is going through. This generally helps to ease tensions and better support the family during these life stages," notes the neuroscientist doctor. It is therefore essential to free speech around the difficulties that weigh on motherhood. For more information on the Maman Blues Association, the organization supports mothers facing maternal difficulties. Maternal difficulties encompass all psychological difficulties encountered during the perinatal period, from pregnancy to the first years of the child's life. It offers listening, support groups, and referrals to professionals, while also raising awareness among the public and healthcare workers about maternal suffering.