Mental load as a modern burden

The mental load refers to the cognitive burden of anticipating needs, identifying solutions, making decisions, and monitoring results, which can be particularly overwhelming when one's role in the lives of others becomes too significant. This concept has been explored by sociologist Allison Daminger in the context of domestic work but applies to the invisible labor required to maintain relationships as well.

Research highlights relationship labor

Researchers Rebecca Horne and Matthew Johnson explored the effort and work involved in sustaining relationships in their study A labor of love?. They emphasized that maintaining relationships is not just an emotional task but also a significant amount of mental and emotional labor.

Relationship burnout and its effects

This emotional overload can lead to a form of burnout that extends beyond the workplace into personal relationships. Known as "relationship burnout," it can manifest in fatigue, disappointment with close people, feelings of desperation, weakness, depression, sleep difficulties, and a sense of being fed up.

Factors contributing to relationship burnout

The Gottman Institute, founded by psychologists John and Julie Gottman, notes that feeling overwhelmed by interactions and perceiving conversations as chores can contribute to this exhaustion. Chronic stress, unresolved conflicts, and an unbalanced mental load are also factors that can lead to this state of saturation, prompting individuals to seek isolation from the world.