Many students entering university face a range of concerns, from securing housing and managing finances to preparing for academic challenges. However, one of the most common worries is about social interactions—specifically, whether they will be able to make friends and fit in. Surveys show that loneliness and a sense of not belonging are major issues for new students. This is not just a problem for those who are naturally shy or anxious; many students, regardless of their personality, feel unsure about how to connect with others, especially when it seems like others are effortlessly social. Psychological research suggests that people are generally poor at judging how much others notice or care about their actions or social missteps. Two related biases help explain this: the "spotlight effect" and the "illusion of transparency." The spotlight effect refers to the tendency to believe that others are paying more attention to us than they actually are. Psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Kenneth Savitsky found that people often assume they are the center of attention in social situations, when in reality, others are usually focused on their own concerns. The illusion of transparency is the belief that others can easily see our internal emotions and thoughts, such as nervousness or embarrassment. However, this is rarely the case—others often don’t notice or care as much as we think. Another psychological phenomenon, the "liking gap," shows that people often underestimate how much others like them after a conversation. We may believe we performed poorly in an interaction, but others may have found it engaging or enjoyable. Conversations can be mentally exhausting, requiring attention to what the other person is saying, following social norms, and interpreting subtle cues. This makes it hard to gauge how well a conversation went, and our self-criticism often leads us to believe we made a worse impression than we actually did. As a result, students may avoid future interactions, thinking they have already failed socially when, in fact, others may have enjoyed the conversation. Small talk, often seen as unimportant, can play a crucial role in building relationships. It helps create a sense of familiarity and trust, which can lead to stronger social bonds and improved well-being. Small talk isn't the opposite of meaningful conversation—it's often the first step toward deeper connections. Additionally, friendships don't always develop quickly. The "mere exposure effect" suggests that repeated interactions increase likability over time. This means that meaningful friendships may form gradually, through shared experiences and repeated contact, rather than through an instant connection. So, if students don’t feel they’ve found their "people" during the first week, it’s normal—friendships often grow over time, through everyday interactions like class discussions, social events, or even casual chats in the queue for coffee. Being patient, engaging in small talk, and finding common interests can help build the foundation for lasting friendships.