Digital technology's impact on emotional bonds

Baptiste Detombe, in his latest essay The Emotional Revolution: When the Digital Destroys the Bond, examines how digital technology affects emotional connections in modern society. He argues that while technology is not the sole cause of growing isolation, it plays a significant role in shaping emotional experiences among younger generations.

Crisis of emotional poverty

Detombe identifies a "crisis of emotional poverty," citing that 62% of young people aged 18 to 29 say they are "sometimes" alone, and 41% of the same age group is single. He attributes this to a mix of strong loneliness, fragile social structures, and the rise of relational artificial intelligence.

Paradox of choice in digital relationships

He highlights the paradox of choice, where access to numerous profiles on social networks leads to constant frustration when comparing oneself to others. This creates a structural frustration that exacerbates feelings of isolation and dissatisfaction with real-life relationships.

Young people's vulnerability

According to Detombe, young people are especially vulnerable to this emotional shift. They are in a transitional phase of life, seeking their place in the world and relying on social circles outside their families. This period often overlaps with a sense of social void and the "antisocial century," marked by increased solitude.

Emotional caution and dating apps

Detombe notes that young people are increasingly cautious about emotional investment, influenced by a mindset that sees time with others as a potential loss in personal or professional growth. Dating apps, he says, contribute to this by promoting idealized expectations that often lead to disappointment in real life.

Challenges in transitioning to real-life relationships

He discusses the difficulty of moving from virtual to real-life interactions, attributing it to a fear of emotional pain and a lack of familiarity with the "friction of otherness." Detombe references Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, who believed that joy comes from the risk of pain, suggesting that digital environments may have shielded people from such experiences.

Shifting relational norms and media influence

Detombe points out that unclear relational norms have created uncertainty, leading some to avoid emotional challenges. Media, such as Hollywood and Netflix, have also shaped perceptions of love, often equating passion with a successful relationship, which can distort expectations in real-life interactions.

Signs of hope and regulatory efforts

Despite these challenges, Detombe remains optimistic, citing a decline in dating app use and a growing interest in physical activities as signs of a possible return to more authentic human connections. He also notes that some states are implementing regulations to control the use of relational artificial intelligence.

Call for reevaluation of technology's role

Drawing on Christian anthropology, Detombe references the Gospel of Martha and Mary, emphasizing the importance of physical presence and being present for others. His book, The Emotional Revolution: When the Digital Destroys the Bond, published by Albin Michel, calls for a reevaluation of how technology influences and shapes human relationships.