A 30-year-old person recently set a personal boundary with their 69-year-old mother, telling her she could no longer enter their apartment without being invited or announced, after catching them in the middle of an adult activity with their partner. The mother had had access to the apartment for nearly seven years, and the individual felt this was an important step to protect their privacy and personal life. However, the mother responded with what the individual and their partner believe are manipulative counter-boundaries. She announced that she no longer wanted the partner’s clothing to be washed with the individual’s and that the individual should not allow anyone into her house without her explicit permission. The individual asked for an explanation for these new rules, but the mother did not provide one. According to one account, the mother had previously offered to help with the individual's laundry to save them time. However, after making her new demands, the individual took back the responsibility of doing their own laundry. Another source mentioned that the mother’s rule about not allowing people into her house was a reaction to the individual letting their partner in for a hug before heading to work together when staying over at the mother’s house. These new boundaries have created tension between the mother and the individual, who feel they are being controlled rather than respected. The advice column "Care and Feeding" addressed the situation, suggesting that the individual should not feel the need to respond to the mother’s behavior. The column argues that the relationship has been too enmeshed for too long, with the mother treating the individual more like a possession than an independent adult. It recommends the individual stop trying to negotiate boundaries with the mother and continue doing their own laundry, as it is not appropriate for an adult child to rely on a parent for such tasks. The column also advises the individual to avoid sleepovers with the mother for now, giving them time to figure out how to maintain a relationship without further conflict. The advice concludes that the individual needs to focus on growing up and asserting their independence, while the mother must learn to stop treating them as if they are under her control. The column emphasizes the importance of personal autonomy in adult relationships and the need for the mother to respect the individual’s right to set and maintain their own boundaries.