When a spouse criticizes you for spending too much time with your children, it doesn't always mean they are jealous. According to Valérie Chemoul, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, it's important to understand the reasons behind such criticism and how it is expressed. Phrases like "We no longer have evenings to ourselves" or "I need us to get back together" might indicate a desire for more closeness and time as a couple. However, if the spouse directly compares the love given to the child with the love given to them, it may point to a deeper issue. The arrival of a child can significantly change the dynamics of a relationship. Nights become shorter, responsibilities increase, and the attention of the parents naturally shifts to the baby. This shift can make a spouse feel neglected, even if they are not jealous of the child. It is important not to feel guilty for dedicating time to your children, as their needs are significant in the early months and years. To determine if a spouse is genuinely jealous of the children, it is necessary to distinguish between a legitimate request for closeness and a real rivalry. If the spouse expresses feelings of being sidelined or a need for more time together, it may be an opportunity to search for solutions to regain balance. However, if the spouse puts the children in competition with them, it may indicate a different issue. If a spouse feels neglected, it is important to acknowledge their feelings without necessarily agreeing with the reproach. For example, one can respond by expressing understanding and searching for ways to find time for the couple. If the issue also stems from an unbalanced distribution of family tasks, revising the organization of daily life together may be necessary. Jealousy towards the children is not necessarily worrying, but if it is accompanied by pressures, intimidation, or repeated behaviors aimed at making you give in, the situation deserves serious attention. Behaviors such as hitting, threatening the parent or child, or preventing the other parent from taking care of the baby should be taken seriously. Couple therapy can be helpful in some cases, especially when there is no violence or control involved. However, it is not appropriate in cases of violence or control, where individual support may be more suitable. If a spouse refuses to consult, seeking help on your own is still an option.