Six months ago, while driving past John Lewis on the M40 with his wife and stepdaughter, a man realized he was crying while listening to Raye’s song I Know You’re Hurting. It was the third time he had listened to the song, but the first time he truly heard it. The lyrics resonated with him, especially lines such as "I can see you standing on the edge ... You give when you have little left to give." This emotional response was different from previous experiences with music, which had typically affected him through melody or arrangement rather than lyrics.
The man has worked in music since he was 21, as a recording and mix engineer, often listening to songs extensively to improve them. Over the years, he became desensitized to the emotional power of music. However, this time, the lyrics brought him to tears. He had been struggling with his mental health for two decades, hiding it from his family and even himself. The last few years had been especially difficult, marked by the challenges of the pandemic, a divorce, becoming a stepfather to teenagers, and turning 50. He had invested significant time into his career, working long hours, but questioned his legacy. He often sat in silence, feeling self-pity, while his family asked, "What’s wrong with you?" He would suppress these feelings, unsure how to address them.
He had tried cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) multiple times but found it ineffective without actionable steps. When his wife suggested speaking to a GP about antidepressants a couple of years ago, he was reluctant, fearing it would harm his creativity. However, Raye’s song unlocked something in him, allowing him to accept his struggles. He made an appointment with his GP, who prescribed antidepressants. He also started music therapy, finding it more effective than CBT. Raye’s lyrics, such as "stop trying to be so strong all alone" and "If you need two more arms to hold these burdens, I’m here," reminded him that he did not have to struggle alone and that help was available.
A couple of weeks ago, he got a tattoo to commemorate the impact of the song on his life, featuring the line "close your eyes and let this music get to working." He messaged the producer, who sent him the score, and he got the musical notes of that line tattooed on his forearm. It serves as a reminder that he is not alone and of his progress. His music therapist suggested he write a song, and the lyrics poured out of him in an hour. He now has an urge to make music, contrary to his initial fear that antidepressants would kill his creativity. Raye’s song reassured him that it would be okay, and he continues to return to her album This Music May Contain Hope, particularly the final track Joy, which feels fitting given his current state.
Four months into taking antidepressants and starting music therapy, he argues less and lets things go more easily. He is a better husband and father to his son and stepdaughters, and his family has noticed the change, often commenting on how much happier he seems. Support for mental health is available in the UK through the charity Mind on 0300 123 3393 and Childline on 0800 1111. In the US, support is available by calling or texting Mental Health America at 988 or chatting at 988lifeline.org. In Australia, support is available at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14, and at MensLine on 1300 789 978.
Music as Medicine: A Personal Journey Through Mental Health and Artistic Expression
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