Timed coffees as adult rituals

Timed coffees have become a common ritual for many adults, serving as brief moments to check in on work, relationships, and personal life. These meetings, often scheduled between other commitments, reflect the balance adults try to maintain between their busy lives and their social connections.

Catch up culture and its critics

The term catch up culture describes friendships that rely on occasional updates during meetings, such as asking about work or family. Critics argue that this format can lead to superficial connections, similar to the curated interactions seen on social media platforms like Instagram or TikTok.

A nuanced perspective on catch up culture

Maike Luhmann, a loneliness researcher at the University of Ruhr in Bochum, challenges the negative view of catch up culture. She argues that even structured coffee meetings are better than no contact at all, emphasizing the value of maintaining any level of connection with friends.

Balancing expectations in friendships

Luhmann acknowledges that some friendships based on catch up culture might be imbalanced. She advises addressing conflicts and not giving up on a friendship too quickly, especially in a world where finding good friends is challenging and even superficial connections can be valuable.

The psychological benefits of brief interactions

Research from 2013, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that even short interactions, such as a twenty-minute coffee, can improve mood and strengthen a sense of belonging, showing that brief social contact has measurable positive effects.

Expanding the definition of social connection

Experts suggest moving beyond structured catch up meetings by engaging in shared activities like cooking or doing chores together. These ordinary moments can create deeper connections, and even passive co-presence, like an open video call, can recreate a sense of togetherness.