Children's bedtime resistance explained

Some children resist bedtime because they need reassurance, closeness, and emotional security. This resistance often stems from the evening activating their attachment system, which can make it harder for them to regulate their emotions and fall asleep independently.

Understanding emotional needs at bedtime

Delphine Théaudin, a clinical psychologist, explains that bedtime can be a delicate moment for children. They must accept separation from their parents, and emotional regulation tends to decrease in the evening, making it harder for some children to calm themselves and find sleep on their own.

Responding to bedtime requests

When a child makes multiple requests once in bed, such as asking for more water or a hug, it can be challenging to say no, especially when tired. However, it's important to acknowledge the child's emotions while maintaining clear boundaries and not giving in to every request.

Establishing a reassuring bedtime framework

Experts recommend responding with empathy and clarity, such as saying, "I know you would like me to stay, because it is difficult for you when we part, but it is now bedtime." This helps the child understand that separation is temporary and that they will see their parents again in the morning.

Positive language for bedtime

Using positive language around sleep, such as "I can't wait to go to bed" or "It is pleasant to rest," helps children associate sleep with a pleasant experience. This contrasts with commands like "Go to bed, it is late!" which can create negative associations with sleep.

Creating effective bedtime rituals

Bedtime rituals, such as brushing teeth, reading a story, or talking about the day, provide a stable and reassuring framework for children. These rituals should be simple, short, and not exceed 30 minutes, helping children transition smoothly into sleep.