Phubbing—nodding while checking your phone—can damage relationships. Dr. Jenny Woo suggests reflexes to stay present and connected.
Phone use affects social connections
During serious conversations or moments of laughter, a screen can steal attention and leave others feeling distant. According to Dr. Jenny Woo, an emotional intelligence researcher trained at Harvard, three reflexes can help change interactions. Phubbing and its meaning
Dr. Woo explains that when someone shares a secret, concern, or good news, and the other person nods but looks at their phone instead of making eye contact, this behavior is known as phubbing, a contraction of "phone" and "snubbing." It conveys a subtle but powerful message: "My phone is more important and more interesting than you," according to Dr. Woo. Impact on trust and connection
In her research on digital etiquette, Dr. Woo has observed that this automatic behavior can erode trust and connection. She suggests that emotionally intelligent people can take back control through three concrete reflexes with their smartphones: planning when they use them, keeping the device physically at a distance, and establishing phone-free pauses and zones to remain truly present with others. Strategies for mindful phone use
Dr. Woo recommends formulating rules such as "if... then..." to avoid temptation when a notification appears. For example: "If I have a meal with someone, then I put my phone on silent and wait until the end of the meal to check it." This approach helps avoid decision fatigue that can undermine daily health.
