Parents of children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) often find themselves navigating a confusing and disjointed system when seeking child care, which can be emotionally draining. A recent study shows that many mothers depend on informal support and emotional reassurance from preschool workers, who help them interpret official documents, refer them to specialist services, and find suitable care options. Many participants in the research described feeling lost, as they lacked a clear understanding of what support was available or how to access it. This uncertainty can delay help-seeking and make it difficult to evaluate what kind of support their child truly needs. The study reveals a paradox: while an official diagnosis can help families access services and make practitioners more aware of a child’s needs, it can also create challenges. Some providers may be unable to accommodate children with diagnosed developmental conditions, and some families may hesitate to disclose their child’s needs due to fear of stigma or difficulty securing a spot. The research was conducted by Angeliki Kallitsoglou, Kristi Dingwall, and Rebecca Georgis from the University of Exeter, along with Cristina Motoca from Alton Community Playschool. They interviewed 11 mothers and 13 childcare professionals, focusing on children aged 2 to 4. Among the children, one had an education, health, and care plan, and four were in the process of obtaining one. Four children had a diagnosis or suspected autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and two of those also had suspected attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Others had informal diagnoses of speech and communication issues or conditions like global developmental delay or glue ear. Dr. Kallitsoglou noted that accessing early education or child care for families with children who have or may have SEND can be an isolating and stressful experience. Mothers often feel overwhelmed by a system that is complex, poorly explained, and inconsistently supported. Preschools and nurseries play a crucial role in offering information and support, especially for single mothers, those less confident in advocating for their child, or those without strong support networks. However, this support is often inconsistent and relies on individual practitioners going above and beyond their usual responsibilities. The researchers suggest that the government’s Best Start Family Hubs policy could provide an opportunity to improve support for families. They recommend shifting from a system that relies on formal diagnoses to one that is more focused on the child’s specific needs. They also call for better training for early years staff to ensure they can act as reliable sources of support, using inclusive and trauma-informed practices. This approach could help reduce the fragmentation of services and create a more cohesive, coordinated system of support for children with SEND and their families.