The modern dating scene has left many feeling discouraged, with reports of unfulfilling first dates and conversations that seem more like social media scripts than genuine interactions. Some people have even given up on finding a romantic partner, noting that dating apps—once a go-to for meeting others—now feel less effective. Dating coach Lily Womble, author of Thank You, More Please: A Feminist Guide to Breaking Dumb Dating Rules and Finding Love, says that while many still want love, the digital dating experience can be tiring and disheartening. Womble proposes a more empowering approach to finding a partner, one that shifts the focus from apps to in-person connections. She outlines three steps to help people move away from digital dating: joy-building, co-conspiratorship, and flirting. These strategies aim to create meaningful interactions that are not driven by the need to find a romantic partner but instead grow naturally from shared interests and social experiences. Joy-building involves participating in activities that bring personal happiness and allow for socializing without the pressure of dating. This could include attending community events, joining clubs, or engaging in hobbies. Womble notes that these interactions can lead to unexpected romantic connections, such as meeting someone through a mutual interest or a friend’s social circle. Co-conspiratorship means involving friends in the search for a partner. Friends can be asked to keep an eye out for potential matches in their own lives, whether at work, social events, or other gatherings. They can also be tasked with asking specific questions to gauge compatibility, making the process more collaborative and less isolating. Flirting, according to Womble, is a skill that can be practiced and improved over time. It involves initiating conversations with genuine curiosity or compliments and reading the other person’s interest level. For those who may have lost social confidence during the pandemic or are naturally introverted, she suggests a "flirting ladder" to build confidence gradually, starting with small steps like eye contact and progressing to more direct interactions. For those who find the process challenging, Womble recommends a "rejection resilience plan" to help manage the emotional toll of rejection. This includes self-compassion techniques backed by scientific research, which can reduce stress and build emotional resilience, making the journey toward finding love more sustainable.