Attraction in relationships can be complex

In exclusive relationships, it can be difficult to determine when behaviors that may seem like infidelity actually begin. The question arises: does an attraction to someone else automatically mean a threat to the relationship?

Common challenges in long-term relationships

Long-term relationships face various threats, including frequent conflicts, differing opinions, loss of romantic feelings, lack of intimacy, and infidelity. These factors can lead to a relationship's breakdown, but the line between attraction and infidelity remains unclear.

Expert view on fidelity

Gérard Leleu, a sexologist and psychotherapist, states that fidelity in love should be complete, encompassing body and soul. In an exclusive relationship, fidelity is expected in love, intimacy, and thoughts. However, experiencing an attraction to someone else or having a slight crush may not necessarily mean infidelity.

Study on attraction and infidelity

A study published in February 2024 in The Journal of Sex Research explored whether attraction to someone else predicts infidelity. Researchers Charlene Belu and Lucia O'Sullivan examined this by surveying 542 participants in committed, monogamous relationships who had a crush on someone else.

Findings on attraction and relationship stability

The study found that it is common for people in relationships to feel attracted to someone else. Most participants (67.7%) kept this attraction secret from their partner. Despite this, only 3% of the participants cheated on their partner with their crush. This suggests that having a crush does not necessarily lead to infidelity.

Factors influencing attraction and infidelity

Scientists identified factors that influence attraction to someone else, such as the expected quality of an alternative relationship, low satisfaction in the current relationship, and low investment in the primary relationship. While having a crush is not a serious issue, intense attraction may indicate underlying problems in the relationship.