Dear Obscure and Dissatisfied, This question revolves around patterns in relationships that can feel unproductive or draining. The writer was homeschooled through high school and has since developed strong social skills, including a good sense of emotional intelligence, humor, and the ability to engage in small talk. Despite this, they feel they still carry a subtle aura of "weirdness," possibly influenced by neurodivergence. While they get along well with most people, they tend to attract individuals who are flaky or neurodivergent themselves—people who often disappear for long periods without warning, typically due to social overwhelm. This pattern has happened repeatedly with both friends and romantic partners, leading to confusion and frustration. The writer is tired of the cycle of hoping for connection only to be left in limbo, and they wonder how to attract people who can make space for them in their lives. They also question whether their generosity with time and support is unintentionally inviting one-sided relationships. Dear Obscure and Dissatisfied, Do not blame yourself for others’ unpredictability. In today’s world, many people are conditioned to avoid deep engagement, often turning to phones or distractions rather than meaningful connections. While you cannot control how others treat you, you can choose how you respond. Be the kind of person who offers consistency and warmth, even when others come and go. Accept that people may fade out and return, and do not let their behavior dictate your own. If you become too focused on trying to hold on, you might unintentionally become the very thing you’re trying to avoid. The environments where you meet people can also influence their reliability. For example, if you meet people in fast-paced, chaotic settings like nightclubs, expect that relationships formed there may not last long. Friendships and romantic connections often take time to develop and solidify. Trying to build something too quickly or leaning too heavily on someone early on can sometimes push them away, even if it’s not your intention. In dating, the process of determining whether someone has space for you in their life is part of the journey. If it hasn’t happened yet, it may simply mean you haven’t met the right person. Continue being yourself, generous with your time and support. Someone who truly appreciates you will eventually come along.