Gossip as a shared human trait

The love of gossip is one of the most shared things in the world. Gossip, rumors, stories, tales, and whispers: the list of synonyms alone attests to this French art of "qu'en dira-t-on." However, it sometimes happens that a good session of gossip is followed by a certain sense of guilt.

Moral questions about gossip

"If sharing the latest gossip feels so good, is it really a sin? And going even further: is it possible that there might be something good about spreading rumors, even though we have always been told that it is terribly wrong?" asks the American website Vox. Here are therefore three rules for "gossiping" ethically. "In the Middle Ages, there was a punishment for malicious tongues: the bridle for gossips, a metal muzzle for people who could not help but say bad things about others."

Kant's ethical guideline

The American news website Vox outlines Rule number 1: Kant, an end in itself. It may be the most popular of Kant's categorical imperatives: "Act in such a way that you treat humanity, both in your own person and in the person of others, always at the same time as an end and never merely as a means." Kant invites us to consider the protagonists of these gossips as rational beings and worthy of respect—not as the disembodied objects of a story that does not belong to us. "Gossip is morally reprehensible when it brings others down for entertainment purposes or to flatter our ego," according to Vox.

Discerning good and bad gossip

The second moral problem that arises is the nature of gossip. There is good gossip and bad gossip. A small exercise in discernment to avoid mistakes. Telling a funny and harmless anecdote that was freely shared with you = good gossip. Revealing a secret that was entrusted to you, or even lying = bad gossip.

Empathy as a moral compass

Rule number 2: empathy as a compass. The German philosopher Martin Buber has also left some moral guidelines. Inspired by Kantian philosophy, he contrasts, in his work I and Thou, two modes of being in the world: a "I-Thou" relationship and a "I-It" relationship. The "I-Thou" "is the ability to build relationships with others and create a real dynamic, rather than reducing them to simple objects." "When we abuse gossip, analyzes Vox, we risk adopting an 'I-It' attitude with others. We forget that they are human beings with whom we are in relationship, people who also have their problems and who, like us, can make mistakes."

A Bechdel test for gossip

Rule number 3: the Bechdel test for gossip. This naturally leads to the third and final rule: measurement. Created to highlight the overrepresentation of male characters or the underrepresentation of female characters in fiction, particularly in cinema, the Bechdel test is based on three criteria: - the presence of at least two named women in the work; - that these women speak to each other; - that they speak about something unrelated to a man. "A story that fails the Bechdel test is not necessarily bad, but it would probably gain depth if it met these criteria," recalls Vox. Applied to gossip, the idea is that they do not monopolize 100% of conversations between friends. Because we need to keep time to talk about the gravity and grace of our lives.

The essential function of gossip

Let us remember that gossip serves an essential function: it allows us to feel less alone. And then, as sociologist Robb Willer, cited by the British daily The Guardian, reminds us, "even those who judge gossips spread rumors by doing so." We are all a little the gossip of someone else. So let us try to aim for ethical gossip.