Caroline Goldman's background and beliefs

Psychologist Caroline Goldman, known for her work in positive education, defends a parenting style that balances affection with authority and the management of frustration. She has been vocal about what she sees as the excesses of positive education, which has brought her into the public eye. Her family has a strong history in psychology, with her paternal grandmother studying the field at 67 and her mother becoming a child psychologist under her mother-in-law's influence.

Goldman's upbringing and family influences

Goldman describes her childhood as happy, filled with humor, love, freedom, and shared pleasures. She is the eldest of a very united family. Her father, Jean-Jacques Goldman, was likely influenced by psychoanalysis, which helped him understand the human soul and enrich his writing. Many women in her family work in care, such as psychologists or pediatricians, and she believes that understanding the mind helps prevent painful relational scenarios.

Goldman's interest in working with children

Goldman became interested in working with children because she sees caring for a child as carrying twenty years of psychic functioning that could potentially become and remain happy. Initially unsure if she preferred working with children or adults, she found that what fascinated her was the mediation of parent-child relationships. She finds this work deeply useful and always stimulating.

Goldman's therapeutic approach

Goldman's therapy begins with receiving a child and their parents only if the child has symptoms. She conducts a three-hour preliminary interview, exploring the child's history, relationships, and daily life. She has the child speak, draw, and play, and then proposes a diagnosis, a hypothesis about the problem's origins, and guidance for the parents. She emphasizes the importance of the parents' presence in therapy, forming an alliance with them to address the child's needs.

Goldman's observations on modern child behavior

Goldman notes that in the last ten years, she has seen an increase in behavioral disorders among children who have everything to be happy. This is a new trend, as previously behavioral disorders were often linked to depression or maltreatment. She attributes this to some messages in French positive education, which have led to chronic and worrying behavioral issues in children.

Goldman's critique of positive education

Goldman criticizes certain recommendations in positive education, such as the claim that any child frustrated by parents risks irreversible brain damage. She argues that this kind of statement restricts parents' ability to exercise authority and leads to behavioral issues like agitation, insolence, and intolerance to frustration. These issues often result in social rejection and a feeling of exclusion from peers and teachers.

Goldman's stance on time out

Goldman has promoted the practice of time out for twenty years, believing it is effective in curbing educational violence. She recommends it to all her supervisees, citing scientific support for its use. However, she warns that time out can be distressing if misapplied, especially for a depressed or psychotic child. She criticizes some positive education gurus for spreading misinformation about how to handle a child's crisis.

Goldman's response to criticism

Goldman acknowledges the risk of being seen as blaming parents, but she argues that parents are fully aware of their role in their child's suffering. She emphasizes that they are responsible for both the child's misfortune and happiness and that they are the key to making things better. She also notes that psychoanalysts need more training in tact and communication with parents. Her approach, which includes forming warm links with both children and parents, has been successful, with no complaints in her three thousand patient files.