Childhood phrases shape adult feelings

Some words spoken in childhood, especially when adults are stressed or annoyed, can leave lasting impressions. These phrases may make children feel their emotions are too big or unwelcome, leading to long-term beliefs about their feelings.

Common dismissive phrases

Victoria Latifses, a psychologist, identified several phrases often used to downplay a child's emotions. These include "Stop being so dramatic" and "You're too sensitive," which can send the message that strong feelings are not valid or valued.

Impact on emotional development

Children who hear these phrases may struggle to identify their emotions as adults. They might reflexively say "it's fine" even when they're not, or fear appearing too dramatic or fragile. This can lead to emotional suppression, which may result in anger, anxiety, or isolation later in life.

Consequences of emotional suppression

Cutting off from emotions may seem like a way to protect oneself, but it can lead to emotional crises. Many adults who grew up with these messages become overly critical of themselves or over-adapt to others' needs to avoid feeling too much.

Replacing old phrases with support

Psychologists suggest replacing these old phrases with more supportive ones. Saying things like "I understand how you feel" or "Do you feel sad?" can help build a healthier relationship with emotions and foster self-compassion.