Age and changing desire

At 36 years old, Anne is experiencing a period where her sex life has taken a backseat in her daily routine. "Between stress and fatigue, I have no desire for my partner," she says. A situation that can be difficult to understand, especially when love is still present.

The disconnect between love and desire

In the collective imagination, loving someone should naturally come with the desire to have sex with them. However, after a busy day filled with professional obligations, household tasks, and daily worries, desire is not always present. Sometimes, even the simple act of getting into bed gives more desire to sleep than to share an intimate moment.

Stress and life pressures

According to the results of the Body+Soul Sex Census 2026, stress and lack of energy are among the main barriers to the sexuality of millennials. The survey found that 26% of millennials cite stress as an obstacle to their sex life, 26% mention work, and 27% the lack of energy. These difficulties are sometimes compounded by the burden of family life.

Desire vs. feelings

However, this decrease in desire does not necessarily mean that feelings have disappeared. One can love their partner, appreciate their presence and want to share moments with them, without necessarily feeling sexual desire. The problem arises mainly when this difference between feelings and the desire to have sex becomes a source of guilt or misunderstanding within the couple.

Managing expectations

Faced with a decrease in libido, the first reaction is sometimes to want to quickly regain a more regular sexuality. However, setting a frequency goal can add additional pressure to an already busy daily life. It may be more interesting to try to understand what is preventing desire from finding its place.

Communication and intimacy

It is also important to be able to talk about this situation without turning sexuality into an obligation. Explaining that one is going through a period of fatigue can help avoid the other person systematically interpreting the lack of desire as a personal rejection. Tender gestures, kisses, time spent together or distraction-free conversations can also maintain intimacy, without necessarily leading to a sexual relationship.

Understanding sexual motivation

The survey also reminds us that sexual motivations are not limited to physical pleasure. While 46% of respondents mention this reason, 43% also cite love and connection. Desire can therefore take different forms and evolve according to life periods. And when the decrease in libido persists, causes suffering or is accompanied by other symptoms, consulting a health professional can help identify possible medical or psychological causes.