Sexuality in ART is tightly scheduled

In the context of assisted reproductive technology (ART), sexual relations are often planned, scheduled, and quantified according to a medical calendar, including ovulation windows, tests, and treatments. This structured approach has led some to describe sexuality as medicalized, with every aspect of intimacy dictated by protocols.

Medicalization affects personal desire

Christina Fontes, a sex therapist, notes that when everything is calculated, spontaneity is undermined. Anna, a mother of two daughters born through ART, explains that scheduling sexual relations has distorted her sexuality, which she now experiences as a duty to perform, a mission to have a baby.

Scheduling is common in ART

Scheduling sexual relations involves synchronizing ovulation or ART processes with sexual activity to optimize the chances of pregnancy. This includes periods of abstinence before insemination, sexual activity after insemination, and abstinence after embryo transfer to avoid uterine contractions, all of which are common but often difficult to discuss openly.

Medicalization alters body image

Anna notes that her relationship with her body has changed due to the medicalization of her sexuality. She describes feeling like a "hen filled with eggs," subjected to hormones and medical exams, leading to a sense of frustration and betrayal, as well as a loss of self-identity.

Forced intimacy can be counterproductive

Anna admits that sometimes couples feel they must engage in sexual activity even when they are tired or uninterested, leading to a detachment from their bodies. This can be counterproductive, as the body may be under stress, making the process less effective.

Psychological and physical toll

Christina Fontes highlights that the pressure of ART can lead to a decrease in sexual desire, erection or ejaculation disorders, and anxiety. Some may even see sex as useless if it is not reproductive, as the focus on specific days can diminish the perceived value of other moments.

Sex is more than just reproduction

While ART can make sexuality feel constrained, it is important to recognize that a couple’s relationship is not solely defined by sexual encounters. A recent survey found that one in five couples has little or no sex, yet they can still be happy and connected through intimacy and communication.

Balancing intimacy and parenthood

Couples undergoing ART face a double challenge: maintaining an enriched sexual life while pursuing parenthood. However, it is possible to find balance by distinguishing between reproductive sex and pleasure sex, creating rituals, and focusing on connection rather than performance.

Rebuilding intimacy after ART

After ART, Anna found it easier to reconnect with her partner, rediscovering desire and complicity. Reconnecting with oneself is also crucial, as perceiving the body with gentleness can restore a sense of pleasure and self-worth beyond its reproductive role.

Communication is essential

Maintaining open communication with a partner about sexual needs and feelings is vital. When sex becomes centered around the goal of parenthood, intimacy and pleasure may diminish. Seeking support from a sexologist or ART specialist can help couples navigate these challenges and rebuild a more serene and fulfilling intimacy.