Our advice columnists have been fielding a wide variety of questions from readers over the years, and we thought it would be fun to revisit some classic letters from the How to Do It archives. If you have a question, you can send it anonymously to Stoya and Rich here. One letter, from a reader who calls herself "Plain Vanilla," shares a concern about her relationship with her boyfriend. They've been together for almost four years, but recently he confessed that he no longer felt "in love" with her. Though they both still love each other and want to stay together, she feels like she's the problem. She mentions that she feels inexperienced in the bedroom compared to him, which has led to a more "vanilla" sex life. She worries that her lack of "wild and sexy" energy has caused a loss of the "lust factor" and is straining their relationship. He often travels for work, so they only see each other every few months for a week or so. She's hoping for advice on how to become more open and adventurous in bed to improve their sex life. In response, the columnist, Jessica Stoya, acknowledges that there may be more than one issue at play. She suggests that both partners should be open about their sexual preferences and that exploring each other's desires can be a shared journey. She recommends looking into different forms of erotic content, such as text, videos, or photos, to gain inspiration. She also encourages self-exploration, suggesting trying different touches on the body to discover what feels good. She adds that even if someone prefers a "vanilla" sex life, it can still be passionate and fulfilling. Another letter from a reader, who goes by "Not Feeling It," describes a rekindled relationship with an ex-boyfriend after nearly 25 years apart. They are both 48 and have reconnected after he moved back home. She notes that his sexual performance has significantly improved since they last dated, and she worries that her own skills may not be up to par. She asks why he prefers manual stimulation over her oral skills, and whether it's because he's more experienced or if there's something she can do to improve. In response, the columnist suggests having an open and direct conversation. The reader is encouraged to express her curiosity and willingness to learn, without placing blame. The columnist also notes that some men may enjoy sexual intimacy without necessarily needing a specific type of stimulation, and that this may not be a reflection of the reader’s skills. The advice emphasizes communication and mutual understanding as the key to resolving such concerns.