Ghosting causes more guilt than expected
A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin and reported by Psy Post suggests that people who ghost others may feel more guilt and sadness than those who are ghosted realize. Researchers Sophia Li, Coral Zheng, and Juliana Schroeder conducted several experiments involving 195 adults who either recalled instances of ghosting someone or being ghosted.Emotional mismatch in ghosting situations
Participants evaluated their emotions and those they imagined in their interlocutor. Those who had ghosted someone reported feeling worse than those who had been ignored assumed, with an average discomfort rating of 2.27 on a scale from 1 to 5, compared to 1.56 from those who had been ghosted. The latter underestimated the guilt and sadness of their interlocutor and also tended to underestimate the relief they could feel.Ghosting can stem from various reasons
The study indicates that disappearing from a conversation does not necessarily mean wanting to hurt someone. Some people avoid uncomfortable discussions, postpone responding, or simply do not know how to express their disinterest. Others may forget a message and let too much time pass, making it difficult to come back.Different interpretations of silence
The researchers found that those who had ghosted involuntarily felt particularly important discomfort, often underestimated by their interlocutors. This mismatch can create misunderstandings, with the person waiting for a response interpreting the silence as a lack of consideration, while the one who no longer responds may feel guilty without being able to get back in touch.Variability in emotional responses
The study does not imply that all people who ghost regret their behavior or that a silent former partner is still thinking of the person they ghosted. Results vary depending on the situations. In a third experiment involving participants chatting with strangers, researchers did not find this emotional mismatch in the overall results.Context matters in ghosting
The mismatch appeared mainly among people who considered the lack of response as ghosting. An important nuance, because not everyone gives the same meaning to silence. For some, a few days without news are enough to feel rejected, while for others, it is just a paused conversation. When a romantic relationship is already established, the emotional consequences can be very different from those of an exchange between strangers.Managing expectations in communication
Responding, even briefly, can prevent the other person from imagining the worst. Remembering that silence does not always mean indifference can help those who have been ghosted take a step back. However, feeling guilty does not exempt one from showing consideration. Sometimes, a few words are enough to make a situation less painful for everyone.
