Excessive use of 'bravo' can shift a child's focus from self-satisfaction to seeking adult approval. Experts suggest emphasizing effort and self-reflection instead.
Bravo as a common expression
When a child achieves something, such as a successful drawing, tied shoelaces, a good grade, or mastering a new skill, the exclamation "bravo!" often comes naturally. It allows the parent to share their joy and show that they have noticed the child's efforts.When praise becomes excessive
However, when this validation becomes systematic, it can gradually take on too important a role. Carole Lozupone-Daudon explains that saying "bravo" to a child is a way of sharing joy and encouraging them. But when "bravo" becomes systematic, the child may end up seeking more approval from the adult than their own satisfaction.Shifting the focus
To help the child gradually shift their perspective, the professional recommends paying more attention to what they themselves think about their achievement. Rather than simply saying "bravo," one can highlight their efforts, perseverance, or ask them if they are proud of what they have just accomplished.Encouraging self-awareness
This helps them become aware of their own abilities and progress. A question such as "Are you proud of yourself?" therefore does not mechanically replace all compliments. It allows the child to pause on what they have just achieved and recognize the path they have taken.Valuing effort over result
The parent can also revisit the steps that led to the result: the time spent practicing, a difficulty overcome, a new attempt after a failure. The attention is no longer only on the final result, but on what the child mobilized to achieve it. Value the efforts as well when the result is not there.Building self-worth
This way of encouraging takes on its full meaning when the child does not succeed. If the child receives mostly attention and compliments when they reach the expected goal, they may end up associating their value with their performance. It is important to remain sincere and spontaneous, but especially to value their efforts as much as their successes.Balancing praise and independence
A child should feel that they are just as valuable when they succeed as when they make mistakes. The "bravo" can therefore perfectly remain in the family's vocabulary. The challenge is rather that it is not the only way to recognize what the child is doing. Allowing them to notice their progress, look at their efforts, and feel their own satisfaction gradually makes their confidence less dependent on external opinion.
